I truly believe parenting is what this world is based on.
How you think, how you act, and how you can differentiate between right and wrong, all depend on the way you have been raised and what you have been taught. There are different types of parenting styles, which have different effects on children. Every parent approaches their child differently. It is also based on the cultural group, family background, country of origin, ethnicity, etc. Your mindset is what decides the parenting style you would be choosing.
The first 6 years of a child’s life are the most crucial. How much you are present and how you deal with your child during those 6 years, will define how your child will be when they grow up, and how their relationship will be with you later in life.
There are other things too that will affect the child’s development like:
– Their personality
– The friends
– His/Her teachers
– The society around them
– The job or business they would be doing when they grow up
and many more things. However, parenting helps the child to decide what is right and wrong. So, it plays the most important role.
In This Article
The Four Parenting Styles
After thorough observation and research, the psychologist classified four parenting styles based on different strategies parents follow: nurturing, the way they communicate and listen to the child, and how they respond and behave. Each parenting style has a different effect on the child. These are:
1. Authoritarian Parenting Style
In this style of parenting the parents are full of authority. The child is asked to do something without being told why. The parents want the child to fulfil all they ask for, good grades, medals in sports, good behaviour, good habits, etc. but the parents don’t nurture the child.
The child doesn’t feel loved. There is only a place for discipline and punishment, not cuddles and hugs. The parents have high expectations but nothing to offer in return.
The characteristics of an Authoritarian parent are:
– Offers Punishment without explanation
– No rewards for good results
– Do not Nurture the child
– Highly demanding
– The child is not allowed to make his/her decisions
– They shame their child often
As a result of Authoritarian parents, the following effects on the child are seen:
– The child is obedient but can not differentiate between right and wrong
– Anxious and depressed child
– Might be shy around others
– Low self-esteem
– Wants to perform as they feel if they don’t perform well their parents won’t love them enough (they want to make their parents happy)
– Can follow instructions and obey rules, but when left alone finds it difficult to decide what to do next
The authoritarian parenting style is not what I would suggest any parent to follow, as it doesn’t let you bond with your child. With this parenting style, you would be raising a child with low self-esteem. If your partner or you follow it, it is time to stop and switch. Your child is not a machine and he or she needs you.
2. Authoritative Parenting Style
An authoritative parenting style is what you need to follow if you want to raise a child who is happy and independent. I follow this method personally and would highly recommend it.
The characteristics of an Authoritative Parent are:
– Lets the child make age-appropriate decisions, if the child has a problem, the parent helps them
– Rules are made in the house, but if broken the child is not punished harshly, instead, the parent explains why it’s wrong and what needs to be done in the future
– Communication is both ways, the parent listens to the child and then responds
– The child is allowed to do stuff independently
– There are lots of hugs and cuddles
– The parents have high expectations but the child is not punished harshly if the expectations are not met, or the child is not shamed, but the parents listen to the child’s perspective
As a result of Authoritative parents, the following effects on the child are seen:
– Authoritative parents raise children with high self-esteem
– They have high self-confidence
– They can regulate their emotions well
– They can make independent decisions
– They are good at relationships in the future
– They are happier than others
– They develop good social skills
– They are also more creative
If you or your partner follows this parenting style, keep doing it. You are going to raise a wonderful kid.
Related: 15 Positive Parenting Tips
3. Permissive Parenting Style
Permissive parents are loving but set no rules and boundaries. They believe “kids will be kids”, and there is nothing we can do to help them behave. They are very nurturing yet scared to set boundaries.
The characteristics of a Permissive Parent are:
– They are very loving and nurturing
– They do not enforce rules on their children, they let them free
– They ask their child’s opinion
– They bribe them to behave
– Even if they set rules they are not consistent in following them
– They behave more like a friend to the child, rather than a parent
– The children of permissive parents do not face any kind of consequences
As a result of Authoritative parents, the following effects on the child are seen:
– Child has a good self-esteem
– Child shows poor decision-making
– They find it difficult to regulate their emotions
– The child is more aggressive
– The child performs low academically
– Child is at higher risk of health problems and substance abuse
Permissive parents are loving, but allow the kids to do whatever they want to. Kids need direction, and permissive parenting fails to give this direction to the kids. This parenting style offers lots of love to the child, which is one of the most important things a child needs while growing up.
4. Uninvolved Parenting Style
The last parenting style is the uninvolved parenting style. I would be a little rude to say that, but I believe, if you follow this parenting style why did you plan for the baby? In this parenting style, the parents are least bothered and neglectful.
The characteristics of an Uninvolved Parent are:
– They are not bothered about their child’s proper development
– Rarely or never show love towards their children
– They will only fulfil the needs of their child like feeding, bathing, schooling etc.
– They do not involve themselves in the child’s growth
– They keep themselves detached from the child
– In a few cases, parents are physically or emotionally abusive
As a result of Uninvolved parent, the following effects on the child are seen:
– Emotionally unstable child
– Depressed or anxious child
– Child has low self-esteem
– Child has low self-control
– The child has difficulty in performing well academically
– The child needs to be independent at an early age to look after himself/herself
– More prone to substance abuse
Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is not what a child deserves. A child deserves love and warmth. A parent decides to bring the child into the world and a parent has to be there for them.
Which is the best parenting style?
Every parent is different and so is every culture, race and ethnicity. However according to the research authoritative parenting is the best parenting style to follow, as it has rules, discipline as well as love. Authoritative parents raise an independent child, who has self-esteem, is confident, and is good with relationships. Children of authoritative parents are less prone to substance abuse as compared to authoritarian, permissive or uninvolved parents.
If you are not using authoritative parenting, now is the time to change.
– Make yourself available for the children
– Listen to them and spend time with them
– Set rules, and help the child follow them
– Don’t yell at the child
– Don’t ignore their mistakes
– Help them in their daily routine
– Don’t punish them for everything
– Be involved in their life
– Love them, hug them, kiss them
Final Thoughts
Parenting style greatly affects how your relationship with your child will turn out when they grow up. It also affects the child’s personality as a whole. so, following a parenting style that nurtures the child and brings out the best in them is essential. No one likes to be shouted at all the time, or be alone all the time. Kids need your time which is the most important thing for them. They need your love, which would make them feel wanted. They need discipline and rules, to learn how to live a balanced life. Above all, they need your respect to know they are important too.
Happy Parenting!
