Who doesn’t like being respected??
Then why not respect your own child?
Very often adults do not think it is of much importance to treat kids with respect. The reason we adults will mention is, “Ahhh it’s okay, he or she is just a kid.” But actually what is happening here is what you are doing is what you are teaching your child.
More than what you teach your child, the child learns by looking at you, what you do, say, how you react, behave and also respect the child as well as the others.
Respect matters. And the first place our children will learn respect is at home.
Once they know they are being respected, they will start giving you the respect back. And once they go out in the world they will start treating everyone with respect who every they meet.
Imagine, you are super tired, want to lie down for a while and just relax, your toddler on the other hand is throwing a tantrum to go out in the park and take some swings. You are trying to explain things, but he or she is not listening? He or She is not respecting that you are tired and you need to rest. But why is he or she doing that. May be the last time he or she asked you something you just said a blunt no and did not even bother to explain it to him or her, or listen to what he or she wants to tell you.
Kids reciprocate things that we show them or the way we behave with them. Yes there are some exceptions, like your child not wanting to go away from you, is may be because of separation anxiety, or anxiety to be alone or with someone else that the child does not prefer over you. So, there is a point where we need to differentiate if the child is disrespectful due to some reason or just anxious and scared.
There are a number of ways we can tell, show and teach our kids how to respect.
1. The way we hold them:
The way we hold them is the first thing that shows how to respect. We all get tired and angry, but pushing or pulling the child even then is not okay. The child can sense it and feel unpleasant, which they might respond to in later years if done frequently.
Handling a child with love, care and tenderness since the first day of life is what is the right way to show respect.
2. Listen to your child:
May be your child is telling you or asking you the same thing again and again, listen and respond. This will help in developing the bond even more stronger.
Listening to them carefully will also help you to understand your child better, and know how to raise them. Listening is a way of respecting the other person, by telling them in return that you are important to me and what you are saying matters.
3. Spending time with your child
As it is said, “Time is the most precious thing you can give your child.” The more time you spend with your child, the more loved your child will feel. It is like making them feel and showing them they are important.
And when a person is important to you, you will definitely respect that person. There will be more positivity, more love and more respect.
4. Use polite words
Using polite words means you are respecting the feelings of the other person. This will show your respect towards your child and even teach them to be respectable towards the others.
Sometimes we loose our temper and yell. That would surely not be the right way. Instead making the child sit and explaining what was wrong is what you need to do in such situations (difficult to follow sometimes, but a true fact).
5. Include your child in the talks and decisions at home
Once they grow up a little, start including them in normal routine stuff at home, like what should you cook today, what clothes your child wants to wear, which cartoons they want to watch.
Including them in little things helps them build trust and show them that they are important.
Letting them make age appropriate choices will help them in future in deciding what is wrong and what is right. Trusting them in their decisions is a way of respecting them.
6. Appreciate them
Everyone like’s appreciation. Appreciate your child for whatever good he or she does. It will show that you respect their hard work and this will help in building confidence in your child.
Appreciation is a way of raising some one up and helping them grow.
7. Do not criticize
As it is said, “Criticism is futile.” Do not criticize your child for the mistakes. Instead sit down calmly and explain the right things to do.
They will listen, understand and follow the right path when done in the right way, and will turn out to be more independent and better people.
8. Respect their privacy
Once the child grows up, the child will have few things which he or she might not like to share with you instantly. In case you try and interfere asking too many questions and interrupting again and again, they will feel disrespected and will think you have trust issues with them.
Remember to show them that you respect them by not invading into their personal space. This will build more trust, they will themselves involve you more in their life and they will share with you more. You will be more of friends to them than parents.
The better you behave with your child, the better the child will behave with you and others. We can not blame our kids for being disrespectful if we ourselves had been disrespectful to them. They will learn what we show them. They will do what we do. they will behave the same way towards us and the others, the way we behave with them.
So, respecting your child will be helping you in raising an even better individual and the times when most of the parents feel embarrassed by seeing their child’s behavior in public, would just not come.
As it is rightly said by R.G. Risch, “Respect is a two way street, if you want to get it, you have got to give it.”